Thursday, July 30, 2015

Man Faps On Cam

Nothing comes between SexyChrisWhile and his Calvins. Except when he wants to grab a taste of his own icing and blasts away over on Chaturbate, that is.

Obviously very NSFW. Click the "Read More" link below to view Chrissy Creamsicle go to town.

Moonboots Over My Hammy

Look who showed up to visit Mark at the Chicago Flea Market Festival of Lights! Finally, 3+ years after the Great Yawnlive/Fucknuts WBTC War, two of the 5 star burrito generals meet, as Hobo Moonboots offers an olive branch and a double wide deep dish Chicago pizza to the Markster. A historic moment indeed, one that will go down in the annals of time alongside SmokeThis developing broadband internet access, Vikki first laying her whoredawg eyes upon Dat Boy through the bottom of a mason jar, and of course Scott's discovery of MyFreeCams. What a privilege it was to watch even a few minutes of this very special broadcast!

Actually, it was pretty boring overall. Award winning mobile cameraman Yves Lopez, and his jheri curl of coked out glory, truly dropped the ball in this instance, focusing more on the merchandise around him and how much of it could fit underneath Mark's black trench coat when nobody was looking instead of the history happening right in front of him. Yawnlive lives up to it's name once again. Tsk. What a shame.


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Large Lad and His Wristbands

I can neither confirm nor deny the authenticity of any of the following statements found tonight in The Shoutbox regarding Mark's latest daring venture into socializing with other people offline, but it sure is some funny stuff. And also far more entertaining then watching walking-social-anxiety-in-a-black-jumpsuit try to sell the general public on the beauty of his wondrous website. But if you insist on observing the Tennessee Manatee work his charms on strangers, you can check it out here.


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Honest Frank EXPOSES Crookhaven!

Here's some archived footage from a 2010 Brookhaven, NY town board meeting, in which the intellectual savior of the unwashed masses himself, Honest Frank, debates some temperamental board members about what constitutes the proper usage and/or raping of a flag. The important thing I really took away from this video is that if only board member Robert Quinlan would BE GOOD and act right, then GOOD things will happen to him, too!

Go get 'em, Frankie!


Thursday, July 23, 2015

Cage Match

I'm sure this will go over like a fart in Super 8 Omaha Passages Malibu for the transsexual She-Hulk tweaker known as Sarah Six Two, once she finds out her estranged beau has such harsh words for her. This budding romance features nearly as many ups and downs as the iconic Vikki/Tommy storyline, with more alcohol than is fit for human consumption being downed on a daily basis by the sow in this relationship as well. Oh that hipster boy! Oh that Amazonian Whoredawg! Ain't love grand, yew reckon?


Gif courtesy Lurkers Anonymous.


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Your Daily Moment (or 34) of Zen

Allegedly courtesy of Bourbon Drinker. I would dare Scotty2Naughty to try and top this insanity, but you and I both know damn well that he might take up that challenge. Needless to say, I really, really don't want that on my conscience.

Link to full screen player here.



Voice Recorder >>

Chop courtesy Lurkers Anonymous.


Monday, July 20, 2015

Fuck Those Balls! Fuck 'em Hard! Fuck!

Gotta say, watching the giant, floating, pixelated Joyce Meyer head try to swallow Scotty2Naughty's depleted ball(s) on Agar.io really cracked me up the other night. Credit Mr. SuperPointer for the vid.


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Calling Professor Louki

Scott may have just given everyone an exclusive sneak peek at an excerpt from his book, and your editorial presence is now requested ASAP to help the poor guy fix his grammatical shit before it's too late. Get here double-time if you can, before his ADD kicks in again and he loses track of where that elusive "save" button is on the word processor and all his hard work and dedication through countless flustration these past few years end up lost to the ashes of time. Or a burnt out motherboard caused by too much quality time spent on My Free Cams, whichever comes first.


Friday, July 17, 2015

*Fry Face*

And the hits keep on coming. So which one of you magnificently wonderful, manipulative, big-tittied bastards convinced The Eyebrows That Walk that this would be a fantastic idea? Fess up now or get forever banished to the remnants of The Spitbox!


Thursday, July 16, 2015

Elmo Did Not Deserve That

Huh. So this happened.

**WARNING** - Very much NSFW and runs the risk of scarring you for life if you watch this video. Unless you're TFsoprano, then by all means this is right up your alley.

Click the "Read More" link below to make your eyes bleed.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Mark to Busy to Answer Call?

What's more important to the quest of growing an online business in a struggling niche genre?

A.) Finding the time to take calls from potential clients/advertising partners and in turn showing just a teensy bit of professionalism for once?

B.) Or spending all day stuffing your face with some home cooked marshmallow fluff in your mom's basement while flirting with cam whores and improving your kill streak count in Call of Duty Tennessee: Deliverance Dueling Banjos to prove what a baws you are? You make the call.

That Mark sure is a peculiar fellow. Thanks for the screencap, Frog.


Oh, but it gets better (Thanks LA):



Thanks for the post title, 282, in honor of the legendary fallen blogger, "Paquet".

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Say Goodbye to Hollywood

A slightly inebriated Jimmy's daring attempt at thrilling his legions of adoring fans by trying to squeeze himself into his old Battlecam House outfit didn't exactly go according to plan, as you can see below. Check out more Tales from the Ohio Hood, featuring those whacky Derzko's, by clicking here.


Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy Ferf of July

As Lurkers (who also contributed this gif of a gyrating Drunkman) used to say, play nice and I'll see you, Anon. Also, avoid any random racially ambiguous, hairy dong flashers while playing gin rummy along the coast of Hilton Head this holiday. Your resident e-therapist will thank you.


Alki David Doesn't Pay Streakers


video

Kyle Fallon is the latest Chicagoan to try to collect on Alki's offer of $250,000 to anyone who can streak in view of Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel.Fallon claims that he both had Battlecam.com written on his back, and chanted the web site as he ran in front of Emanuel.

These were conditions of the prize that weren't well publicized in the PR around the contest (if at all), a contest itself designed only as a thinly veiled advertising effort for the hour and fifty minute commercial/Alki biopic...err I mean movie Lord of the Freaks.

These technicalities are what's going to provide the excuse for not paying Jackie S., the first streaker to get in view of Emanuel (although her video does suck):



What both Jackie and Kyle don't seem to realize is that history says there is no payout. Alki offered $1 million dollars to anyone who could streak Barack Obama back in 2010. When someone did, as the New Yorker reported at the time, Alki did everything he could to get out of paying the $1mm prize. At one point he claimed he wasn't sure he could even provide a payout to someone who had committed a crime, at another saying he was waiting for the President to confirm he had been streaked. Streaker Juan Rodriguez eventually got his rent paid for a year and some of his sister's hospital bills paid for, a prize well short of a million dollar payout.

The video of the coverage of the Obama streaking challenge has provided advertising played in loop on Battlecam ever since.

Friday, July 3, 2015

From Viruz to Lily, with love

  1. I DID NOT KNOW WHERE TO POST THIS SO THAT THE NEWS COULD SPREAD FASTER, SO WHAT BETTER PLACE THAN THE WOODSHED. SORRY MAC, I JUST NEED TO SAY THIS...HOPEFULLY SLAYA CAN RELAY THIS TO LILY...
  2. OK, WITH SINCERITY AND RESPECT THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO SAY TO EVERYONE NOT JUST LILY. I WANT TO PUT IT TO REST ONCE AND FOR ALL. OK, THIS IS HARD FOR ME TO SAY AND IT HURTS, BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO SAY IT AND LET GO CUZ I KNOW SOME OF YOU STILL THINK I'M AFTER LILY AS I CAN TELL WHEN I ENABLE GUESTCHAT. I WAS, BUT I WAS DOING IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO GIVE IT ONE FINAL TRY. A ONE LAST BREATH I GUESS YOU CAN SAY. THAT'S WHAT I DID ON VAUGHNLIVE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT DID NOT WORK AND I MUST NOW MOVE ON. I ALWAYS KNEW THAT I COULD NEVER BE WITH HER ANYWAYS BUT I KEPT FOOLING MYSELF AND I CAN'T BE WITH HER FOR A VARIETY OF REASONS TOO WHICH SOME ARE...
  3. 1. LILY, I NEVER GOT TO KNOW YOU. YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE. I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU ARE LILY A BLONDE MATURE WOMAN THAT WORKS FOR ALKI ON BATTLECAM.
  4. 2. RACISM IS CRAZY. YOUR FAMILY WILL NEVER ALLOW A HISPANIC TO BE WITH A WHITE WOMAN. IT WON'T HAPPEN. THEY WILL ALWAYS LOOK AT ME WEIRD. IT JUST WON'T WORK.
  5. 3. YOU'VE PROBABLY MET A LOT OF GUYS FROM THE INTERNET OR IN REAL LIFE. I MEAN, YOU'RE REALLY HOT AND THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU DID NOT ATTRACT A COUPLE OF GUYS. LETS BE HONEST HERE. PLUS THERE ARE HOTTER GENTLEMEN OUT THERE, SO WHOSE TO SAY ONE DAY YOU'LL GET TIRED OF ME AND CHEAT. I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
  6. 4.  WITH ALL DUE RESPECT MA'AM, YOU'RE IN YOUR 60s AND WELL WHAT'S THE POINT OF TRYING ANYMORE? YOU SAID NO 3 TO 4 YEARS AGO, AND NOW THAT YOU ARE IN YOUR 60s I'D ONLY BE SPENDING ABOUT 10 TO 15 YEARS WITH YOU WHICH WOULD ALMOST FEEL LIKE A BIG TROLL TO ME WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT AND I DON'T WANT TO BE HURT AFTER ALL THE TIME I SPENT TRYING IT WOULD HURT EVEN MORE THAN WHAT I WENT THROUGH TO THINK I'D HAVE TO LET YOU GO SO SOON. I'D MUCH RATHER YOU SPEND YOUR TIME WITH YOUR ADORABLE GRANDKIDS AND KIDS. :-)
  7. GOODBYE, LILY.
  8. WITH LOVE AND RESPECT,
  9. VIRUZ
  10. P.S.: APOLOGIES FOR THE GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATIONS, I JUST NEEDED TO TYPE WHAT CAME FROM MY MIND AND HEART NOT CARING ABOUT HOW I TYPED IT.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Ape Candy!

This is for the ladies! 
  NSFW  
WARNING APE DICK AND ASSHOLE
 NSFW 
CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK!