Wednesday, December 31, 2014

THE STORM REPORT! TOP 5, THE WORST OF 2014

COMMING IN AT NUMBER 5,HACKELL QUITS THE WOODSHED FOR GOOD. INDEED A SAD TIME FOR ME AS I GOT ALOT OF LAUGHS FROM HACKY IN SHOUTBOX CHAT. NUMBER 4,JOE WALSH GETS PERMABANNED. I GUESS THE BIG VL CENSORS COULDNT TAKE THE N WORD ANY LONGER. NUMBER 3, SCOTTY DAYTRIPS TO HOOTERS. IT WAS A SAD SIGHT TO SEE, SCOTT77 DRESSED LIKE SURFRAT, SITTING ALONE AND SPENDING HIS RENT MONEY AT HOOTERS. NUMBER 2, FOXMAN AND LOVELEIGH MEET IN A SLEAZY MOTEL JUST AS FOXMAN STARTS TO DRY HUMP HIS PREY, THE BIG VL CENSORS CUT THE VIDEO, DARN. AND COMMING IN AT NUMBER 1, MR MAC CALLS IT QUITS. LUCKY FOR US HE CAME TO HIS SENSES AND RETURNED TO THE WOODSHED WITH A NEW PERSPECTIVE,EVEN IF ITS JUST PART TIME.HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

THE STORM REPORT! BISH IS BACK. THERES GOOD NEWS AND THERES BAD NEWS

THE GOOD NEWS ,BISH RETURNED TO THE BC AIRWAVES. THE BAD NEWS, HER CAST WAS A COMPLETE FAIL!!! BILLY THE FRIDGE, HARRY BALSAC, AND REALPR WERE ALL GLAD TO HAVE BISHY BACK. WONDER WHICH PART OF THE CAST THEY LIKED BEST, BISHS RABBIT TAKING A DUMP IN HER BED OR BISH DRAWING IN MAGAZINES LIKE A 8 YEAR OLD. 1 OUT OF 5 STORMYS JUST FOR CAMMING UP.

The Bish is Back!

Complete with Elly trying to rape/eat BunBunz! Shit going down here right now (and for the past few hours).

Sorry for the crummy write-up. I'm in the middle of a few things at the moment and don't have the time to get into watching Miss 8 do her thing and give an in-debt rundown on the depressing shenanigans. Still, comment away and feel free to let others know what insanity Crackyboo is up to this time.

**UPDATE** - And we have fire!


Monday, December 29, 2014

The BIG VL starts filtering words

Looks like Mark is getting pissed that people are posting certain websites, so he has started filtering a few words. Here are the words directly from the source code.

connectcast
younow
chaturbate
myfreecams
pornhub
vaughnlive.info

response=response.replaceAll("connectcast","***");
response=response.replaceAll("younow","***");
response=response.replaceAll("chaturbate","***");
response=response.replaceAll("myfreecams","***");
response=response.replaceAll("pornhub","***");
response=response.replaceAll("vaughnlive.info","***")




All of these words will now be replaced with a *** in chat. Good news for Alki, people can still post battlecam.


Sunday, December 28, 2014

Calling Dr. Bruce Yankem, DDS!

Did Joe Walsh pass out drunk/high/stupid, or was he rendered unconscious via an eyeful of those gruesome fangs belonging to The Foxman? You decide. Hopefully not over dinner, because good lord those teeth...if ever there were a time for our beloved MIA Bubba Southern to break out the medieval buffalo teef pliers again, this would be it.



For reference sake:


Social Casting Power Rankings (12/28/14)

As voted on by the Academy of Social Casting Arts and Science, it's the debut of the Woodshed Social Casting Power Rankings for your endless contemplation and masturbation! How long will this gimmick last though? A year? A month? A one shot deal? Tune in next week at this time to find out how my attention span is doing I guess.

Taking into account looks, personality, entertainment value, and ability to correctly spell words (with one obvious exception), here they are:


1. Joe Walsh
Consistently one of the funniest casters on the cam sites. A modern day Mothman to The Foxman's Whoredawg, if you will.


2. Chris Bama
Had a week for the ages.

3. Scott_Seven_seven
Not too exhausted to rank this high. Awkward adventures at Hooters proves that the good doctor still has some of that sweet webcasting mojo going on.


4. Real Justin's Dad
Because...I mean, just look at the screencaps.


5. Foxman Shawn
Do you know who he is (besides #5)? Well, no screencap included on this ranking for The Fox, so looks like you're SOL regarding info on arguably social castings biggest hot mess.


6. Anna Williams
Everything is fine. Anna is perfectly A-OK. Nothing to see here, move along. (Thanks DFW)


7. Randallman
Backwoods flirtations with Eva Vaughn didn't go so smoothly.


8. Paquet
Probably the highest...ranking...he'll ever receive here. Room currently being booked at Betty Ford for the Woodshed's resident village idiot. #DyslexicFrenchCanadianLivesMatter.


9. Goosezilla
Finally got her man.


10. Frank Taylor
Because what's a legitimate Top 10 without the icon of social casting? Just look at that floor!


11. Sugar 2 Spice
Got naked. Again. Also, about to take away 2 High's freedom and future paychecks forever.


12. StormDavis
The new king of the blogosphere! SHOW THEM TITS SWEETIEE HEE HEE HEE!


13. Straws
Convinced Chris Bama to light his taint on fire and brush his teeth with poo for 60 bucks. Has he finally found his new Gary?


14. Loukiboy
Dreams do come true.


15. BTF
Took down Sony, Microsoft, *and* North Korea!


16. Mark and Miss Scruffy
Since it's impossible for one to go anywhere on the net without the other, they get to share a ranking. And a bust size.


17. Real Justin
Swag.


18. Roco
No comment.


19. Coffeetime's Sister
Dang.


20. Armochick
Got Wiscon unmodded on Main! Or so she claims.


21. Honest Frank
About to become a gazillionaire from suing Youtube for discrimination.


22. Paradice/Parasite/Righttt
Miss J is still clowning it up on The Big VL.


23. MichelleStacy
Owned Plaquet!


24. ODP
RIP. Cause of death: Big Black Bubba ripping his anus to shreads.


25. Leksah (Sub)
Honorary placement for the hairy lil' goober.


Saturday, December 27, 2014

Billy The Hacker?

BTF just made a song about the Lizard Squad, the group who was responsible for taking down Xbox Live and PSN. Is BTF apart of the Lizard Squad who ruined Xmas for millions of children?






Friday, December 26, 2014

THE STORM REPORT! NO SPOILERS HERE

I WATCHED THE MOST TALKED ABOUT MOVIE IN THE WORLD TODAY, THE INTERVIEW. IF YOU DONT THINK THIS MOVIE IS FUNNY, THEN YOU WERE BORN WITH A BIG BLACK DILDO UP YOUR ASS. THE WRITERS REALLY DID A GREAT JOB ON JAMES FRANKOS PART AS THE IDIOT ASSHOLE. 5 OUT OF 5 STORMYS.

Sugar Tits

I think I just slipped into a diabetic coma from getting a dose of all of that Sugar. Hint - that's not a good thing. At all.



Also, this is about the point where 2 High 4 Life should run like a mother fucker.


Merry Christmas

And a Happy Hanukkah too!


Credit Frogtech for the screencap.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Happy Festivus

From Leksah (Sub)'s harem of drunkard mongoloid cavemen to yours, have a good one. Chops courtesy Lurkers Anonymous and Not-Thirdhole.


Wednesday, December 24, 2014

THE STORM REPORT! AT THEEE END OF THE DAY , MARYANN DUMPS ANOTHER LOSER

JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, MARYANN DUMPS ANOTHER GUY FOR DOING DRUGS BEHIND HER BACK. THE QUEEN OF SOCIAL DRAMA POURED HER E GUTS OUT ON THE BIG VL. MAYBE MR MAC OR SCOTTY HAS ANOTHER CHANCE WITH THE BITCH OF BOSTON. GOOD LUCK GUYS.

THE STORM REPORT! SCOTTY GETS PUMPED FOR THE LOVELY GOOSEZILLA

GOOSEZILLA GOT SCOTT77 ALL HOT AND BOTHERED TONIGHT, GETTING HIM TO TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES FOR HER AND MALPH AND TRICEPBRA. SCOTT SHOWING HIS OLD BALD HEAD AND EVEN OLDER BODY MADE GOOSEY SMILE. SWEET DREAMS SCOTTY AND MERRY XMAS.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

No Worries

It was said in the most strictest of artistic ways, so no need to get upset by this, Baby Boo and Mama Bear Eva Vaughn. RIP Sergeo. #DumbBlackLivesMatter #JusticeForTruffleHeads.



Credit Paq's unstoppable Army of Frenchmen for the second screencap.

Twitch Off

Last month, some gamer chick named Falisha, who casted at the time on that breeding ground for zit popping e-virgins called Twitch, whipped her goods out to the tune of 500 million in Runescape caaaaaaash. Then, in a shocking twist straight out of Battlecam that absolutely no one could have possibly seen coming, she not only doesn't receive the precious Rupees, but various trolls proceed to contact many of those on her Facebook friends list about the naughty behavior and pass along pics of her hidden treasures to random members of her family and friends.

The story is here, here, and here. The real reason you're viewing this post - the nudes - are below. All that's left to say is: well played, Verbal. Well played.



Video explaining everything:


You Just Don't Understand

The aches and pains, the sin and the temptation, the trials and tribulations, the torture and the state of exhaustion, the fuck you Malp and the fuck you Tricep, the doxing and the Plaquet of Scott_Seven_seven. Thanks to Super Pointer for the vid. OWWWWWWWWW FUCK FUCK FUCK!!


THE STORM REPORT! THE GRINCH THAT STOLE SCOTT77S XMAS

LOOKS LIKE OUR FRIEND PAQUETT IS IN BIG TROUBLE NOW. SCOTT77 IS GOING TO SUE OUR LITTLE BUDDY FOR DOXING, CALLING HIM A PEDO,AND JUST PLAIN BEING MEAN TO POOR SCOTTY. SCOTTY ALSO HURT HIS BACK AT WORK. I GUESS PAQEY WILL GET BLAMED FOR THAT TO. ITS INDEED A SAD SAD XMAS FOR SCOTTY. THANKS ALOT PAQ.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Balls on Fire

No montage of Rocky training to fight an evil, steroid glazed Russian needed. No semblance of common sense to be found. Just one semi-retarded redneck sporting less than a semi-chub lighting that shit on fire for some Alki bucks he'll never see. As it should be for such a fool! Teach him a life lesson and all. He would have been better off titty fucking Mark and shooting the load onto Miss Scruffy's skin necklace in exchange for a dozen Vcoins. At least that way there would have been more than one person, in this case Chris Bama, to mock for being a numbskull.

Gif and video are behind the cut if you're really in the mood for some southern fried ox balls at the Woodshed hibachi grill. God help you. BTW, I'm not even going to touch the whole "pissing in his own mouth, then brushing his teeth with poo" stuff he got into. You guys are on your own there, so go check out his channel archives for those gruesome details.




Sunday, December 21, 2014

Murphy Chrifmess

That darn Joe Warsh, acting oh-so cruel to The Foxman over this joyful holiday season, sending his own niece a limited edition "Foxman Shawn Drill n' Fill" Playdoh gift set. This should be a time of the year when two men so obviously head-over-heels infatuated with one another come together and fuck each other up the ying yang with a big, purple, veiny dong and sing "Christmas in Harlem" instead of trying to continually deny the unresolved sexual tension that is clearly prevalent between the two handsome devils. Certainly Gary and Straws wouldn't be tip toeing around any of this passive aggressive homoerotic bullshit.


Social Casting Power Rankings

This might be the absolute lamest idea in all the interwebs, but fuck it - I'm bored watching the Jets put in another ho-hum performance (Although they're winning over the Pats at halftime and the dog murderer isn't in at QB, so I guess that would count as an above average weekend for the Woodies. But I digress.) and came up with a brainfart that I, the master plagiarist himself, blatantly plagiarized from ESPN.com, Bleacher Report, and a billion other websites. Namely, social casting power rankings.

Each week anyone and everyone can vote on their top 10, or top 25, or top 500 (lol, as if there are that many people even left on the cam sites) casters/chatters/trolls/bloggers/site owners/etc., using whatever criteria they want. Quality of broadcast? Entertainment value? Shit jiggling jokes? Non-sexual appeal? You name it, you vote on it, you decide. Call it a transparent popularity contest with no real value. No one would win anything, which puts it about on an even keel with the BC Rankings system. But there's always the miniscule chance that it could help motivate us dopes that waste our days on these cam sites into being more entertaining at a time that we desperately need it.

So please, post your rankings in this blog post. Or email me at "jtvwoodshed@yahoo.com". Or PM/FB me your rankings. Or hijack Scott's brain and telepathically send me your rankings through the power of sweet black baby jebus. Whatever floats your boat.

Or do nothing and I'll just make this shit up as I go along. Look for the first set of rankings next Sunday here on the blog. And now, here's something for your time spent reading through this post:



Coffeetime Kuato has a pretty cute sister? Who knew? Well, I know who my #1 in next week rankings is going to be.


Saturday, December 20, 2014

Butthurt Theater

I normally try to stay out of the Scuttlebutt/Shawnio brouhaha because I find it to be beyond redundant at this point. I mean, Scuttle has the #1 social casting blog right now ever since I went to blogging, at best, part-time. Shawnio is, well, a McQueef. At best he has the #3 blog behind the incomparable Blog of a Frenchmen. How is this even a fair fight again? No offense, Paq. But Tony Baby Oil gave me inspiration to post about the condom failure canucklehead, so hey, why not put up a video showing Tony clowning on the delusions and psychosomaticism of the king shit of his own little bottom's up, basement boy world? What could TTTBO do to top completely and utterly putting Squirtrat through the ringer a few weeks back? Well, here's your answer.

Don't worry, though. The Woodshed isn't going to turn into a Shawnio blog. God no. The worst thing you could do is give that little inbred sheet stain any sort of attention and by extension the credibility he so desperately needs and desires. So I'm one and done with the ginger bollocks. Enjoy the vid, though.


THE STORM REPORT! PAQUETT TURNS ON AND CAMS UP

OUR LITTLE BUDDY PAQEY TOOK SOME MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND LET US INTO THE REAL PAQUETTS MIND AND SOUL. WHILE WATCHING PINK FLOYD, PAQ PROCEEDED TO LET US IN ON HIS INNER THOUGHTS ABOUT THE MOVIE. MOSTLY THAT IT WAS TO LONG. GOOSEY TRIED TO TURN PAQ ON VIA SKYPE, BUT HE WAS SO FUCKED UP HE COULDNT GET A BONER, HIS WORDS. I SEE PAQ BECOMING A MONK AFTER THIS ENLIGHTING EXPERENCE, OR WATCHING MMA AND GETTING DRUNK. WHAT DO YOU THINK??


Friday, December 19, 2014

Hootie Hoo

Scott_Seven_seven has made a daring venture outside into the world of socializing with us common folk today and somehow, someway, found himself at his local Section 8 Hooters. I shit you not. You know damn well it's only a matter of time before things start going real downhill real fast for the Messiah for Troubled Young Women in his newest den of sin and fried pickles. Here's hoping we get to witness it as long as the good doctor can get his shitty wi-fi straightened out. Stay tuned.

Here's the archive of the entire night out (around 62 minutes long). Thanks to Frogtech for the link.



Uh oh! You know what this means...



Sadly, that was about as far as anything entertaining taking place went. Scott didn't try to coerce one of the young ladies into his mancave of non-sexual love by teasing them with some reality-shattering "Secrets" or anything of the sort. He did leave the waitress who kept having to answer the phone for him a $27 tip for what was probably a $20 meal for her troubles though. Good man, Scott. Good man.

THE STORM REPORT! MY XMAS PRESENT TO YOU

I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR ALOT OF WOODSHEDERS WHEN I SAY HOW MUCH I MISS BISHY. SO HERES A REMINDER OF THEEE OG DIVA OF THE SOCIAL SITES, THAT GAVE WOMAN HARD TITS, AND MEN HARDONS.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

THE STORM REPORT! YOU CANT KEEP A GOOD BLOGGER DOWN

QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY SHAWENO S MAN BOOBIES ARE DISGUSTING, SCUTTLEBUTTS NEW BLOG IS UP AND RUNNING. http://scuttlescorner.blogspot.ca/ GIMPYS SHORT BURST OF HAPPINESS WAS SHORT LIVED. HE CAN NOW GO BACK TO HIS SHITTY LIFE OF LIES AND HIS BORING CAST, BUT I STILL LIKE HIS CREEPY LAUGH.

THE STORM REPORT! ANOTHER BLOG BITES THE DUST

SCUTTLEBUTTS CORNER HAS BEEN CANCELLED,OR TAKIN DOWN BY EVIL FORCES IN THE BLOGISFEAR. JUST LIKE THE WOODSHED, SCUTTLEBUTT HAS BEEN GIVIN THEEE OLD HEAVE HO HO HO JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. ONE THING I HAVE NOTICED IN BOTH CASES IS JUST AFTER BOTH BLOGS PUT IN A 3RD PARTY CHATBOX, POOF THEY WAS GONE. UMMMM.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Homeless Butthole Eater

If anyone has a warm butthole for a homeless man to stay in, please contact TFSoprano. Seems he is homeless this Christmas. Thanks Guest 112 for the pics and video.